Ad Absurdum: to the absurd

This year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. 

   I seem to swing from social media to social media as people find me on one I retreat to another. Currently I am hiding happily on Tumblr and hope that people don't eventually find me. It's kind of an interesting situation honestly. The people I am most honest with in the world are those that I have never met. My tumblr followers or people that I follow could ask me basically anything and I would be completely honest with them whereas if I talk to most/all of the people I know in real life I would give them a crap answer that while not being completely socially acceptable it is the perfect balance of crazy and normal that they can swallow.

   The basic reason is those people online that I don't know and that don't know me, I don't care about. Some of them I might if I really knew them. Most of them we agree on a lot of things (or else I wouldn't follow them and they wouldn't follow me) but I don't know them so therefore I don't care about them.
    I can't explain myself. I don't understand myself most of the time so how in the world am I supposed to explain the complicated insanity that is my brain? I care about almost everything. To much and to often is basically my problem in life. No matter what you do, have done, or will ever do. No matter how much you hate me, like me, love me. Mo matter if I like you, love you, or hate you. I will always care. If you have been my friend, you always will be. No matter how hard I try I will always care about what happens to you. No matter how much I try to deny or hide it I honestly hope you the best in life. And that attribute is the shortcut button on the desktop of my life to a sucker punch to the gut. My responce has been to make it as difficult as possible for anyone to worm their way into my feelings. I put up one killer password on my profile but there's this little catch; I let you think you cracked it. I let people see what people want to see. They see emotion and honest and caring. But they only see the shadow of the real thing.
   I discovered that there is a vaccine for caring. It's like any vaccine. You catch the disease and survive. You care about someone way to much and then it falls apart and suddenly you have the resistance for it.

   This post wasn't supposed to be depressing but I'm listening to the Civil Wars currently and they have that effect on me. So for the happy note at the end and the whole point to my swinging from social site to social escape is that the escape that is Tumblr has been amazing and I am quite happy to be there quite happily for sometime. One of my favorite T.V. shows Once Upon a Time currently just wrapped up its third season and I absolutely loved 95% of it. My OTP has taken a huge step forward and I am beyond elated. So if anyone out there in the teeming void of the internet actually reads this than you really need to check out the show. It's amazing and if you start loving it you can find me on Tumblr and we can fangirl together.

Data Venia: with due respect

Polite Insults

In the South we say 'Bless their heart'

   How many times through out the day do you wish you could just pull a Batman and POW! punch all the annoying people in your life. We all tell everyone we know about that one person who just annoys the tar out of you. I'm not talking about the toolbag who broke up with you or that bruja that stole your ex. You legitimately do want those people to fall off a bridge. I'm talking about those people that are alive simply because it's against the law to shoot them. They basically are just a waste of oxygen and space and are the reason why every other word out of your mouth is sarcasm. You may want to literally yell at them or physically throw them out the window but you restrain yourself to a constant stream of sarcasm whenever they're around. 

   Sarcasm is an amazing thing. It allows you to insult idiots without them realizing it while still relieving that pent up frustration and loathing. I have several people at work that because of their southern upbringing we can have fantastic battles of wits armed with sarcasm. Probably the most enjoyable part is the unarmed masses around us looking on in bewildered confusion having no idea why we hate each other so much. I would hazard that some of them could not even understand what we were saying. 

   If you've spent any time in the south you will discover that the phrase, "Bless your heart" is no endearing compliment of a old southern belle. It's a thinly veiled cover up to say whatever they wish, "Bless her heart, she never was the prettiest bloom on the magnolia." "Bless his heart, he couldn't tell the front of a tractor from the back of the barn." "He is the slowest reader I have ever seen, bless his heart." The funny part is that about half of the people who say it actually do mean to be kind when they're straight up being just mean. But that's the advantage of being born and raised in the south, you can really get away with anything you want to say about someone when you tack on the phrase.

   In general I love having a battle of sarcasm with people I actually like because then I have a clear head to banter with. When I actually can't stand the person it's like dueling with one hand tied behind my back because I am constantly restraining myself to sarcasm instead of pure venom. Anyone can be vindictive when they want to be but most don't want to. If you take off the filter of societal norms, politeness, fear of what others think, and fear of the repercussions and you would get what people truly think. It would be amazing, and horrifying at the same time. So many times when we slip and say what we want to but know we shouldn't, bad things always happen. 

   So unless you are one hundred percent sure that you want to say what you are going to say. Don't say it if it is going to drastically change things. Trust me, homeostasis is better than unwanted change most of the time. But on the flip side, if everything is going to Tartarus in a hand basket then what the heck? Try speaking your mind. 

Bono Malum Superate: overcome evil with good

Unsung Merits

A Superman Review

   I am not a Superman fan. I feel this should be said at the onset before any Man of Steel aficionados swoop in and tear my head off. I have never found the man from krypton anything short of boring. He's a alien from a dead planet that for all intensive purposes cannot die and is a bloody pain to kill (unless of course you're a supervillian in which case Kryptonite is cheaper than water on the bad guys market that you shop at because some how everybody has some). To me he has always been the naive boyscout that didn't understand reality. 

   At the midnight release of the Man of Steel my view shifted. I wouldn't say Superman/Clark Kent changed at all but my view of him realigned ever so slightly. I have never seen Clark as a relatable character. Someone you could compare with and possibly even cheer for. He has always seemed like, an other. An outside. Tonight, I saw his life in a mirror. I saw growing up with people that never wholly excepted you even though you did nothing wrong. I saw living a simple life but still dealing with issue that you feel like no one else understands. I saw life that becomes extremely complicated all at once. Clark responds to the massive difficulties and sudden complications in the way that he has always responded, straight up unadulterated morality. He is the definition of a black and white hero with no gray areas. He's basically the antithesis to my personal favorite superhero, Batman, who lives in shades of gray with one black line. 

   For the first time I felt like I could understand how Superman thinks. Homegrown morality is his core based in how he was raised. I always interpreted his goody-two-shoes attitude as blatant naivety to the real world while it's his choice on how he sees the world. He chooses to see the good in people and the evil in their actions. I still don't necessarily agree with his view and actions but it's refreshing to understand where he's coming from. In summary I found the actors in the Man of Steel refreshing and believable, the story straightforward and true to it's origins, the effects impressive, the photography stunning, the music moving, and the overall message inspiring in true Superman fashion.

I found this Review on the movie that I agree with for the most part and enjoyed reading. 

Arcanum Boni Tenoris Animae: the secret behind a good mood

Attitude verses Personality

No this is not a self-help post

   I can't name the number of times I've heard the age old slogan of "attitude is everything" but you know what it's not. That's not to say it isn't a huge part but it's not everything. You need balance between substance and attitude. You can be the most happy-go-lucky person in the world but if you have nothing to support it, no brains, no perseverance, no modicum of skill you're not going anywhere. Walk in and be all smiles and no computer savvy and I'll guarantee that you are not going to get that job at google. On the flip side if you are the smartest nuclear physicist in the world you are not going to be the next Tony Stark if you act like a jackhole. I know he comes across pretty awesome with the whole, "Screw the world" attitude but in all reality he is a fictional character. That being said even in fiction world the only people that can stand him enough to spend any amount of time with him are the people he is kind to at some point or Jarvis who as a robot and his built in AI cannot in fact run away. 

   Every single jerkoff that you know that you still like the reason that you like them is those moments when they act like a human being. So attitude is a big deal, but it's not the end all. 

   Your attitude is not your personality. Granted one effects the other but in the end your attitude is basically the side of yourself that you decide to show people. Every single attitude that you have is a part of your personality. It's part of who you are but how much you show it determines how big of a part it is. When you act like an arrogant son-of-a-motherless-pinata-maker 95% of the time it's because 95% of you is an arrogant SOAMPM that's just the way the candy falls. I'm not saying you can't change but your attitude is your choice ultimately. It's the side of your self that you decide to show when that stupid customer cusses you out and you stand there smiling and saying nothing, you're showing self-restraint. When you vent to your friends about that same annoying-beyond-all-reason customer you're showing annoyance, frustration, and that small inability to let go of wrongs done to you. All of those parts of you are always there, that's your personality.

   Not to get all illustrative and artsy but everybody is like a multifaceted gem. There are so many sides to every personality. ] and that really doesn't reflect what you're made of all it reflects is how you're cut and fashioned. The more facets the brighter you shine, the more complex the more interesting. So if you only show one side of yourself to people they will think you're shallow and really really boring. Flip side realize that everyone you meet has more to them than what you see at face value. 

Audere Est Facere: to dare is to do

Real Life 

Hero of Walgreens

   I've seen a lot in the past few months that has shown me how much the adults lied to us. Honestly, think about it. Between TV shows, Books, Disney movies, and video games we were raised to think like we are the hero. We were raised to look for the wise old man to train us. Never trust the old lady, or the stepmother. Find an ancient secret or source of power and use it to fight the forces of evil. If you're the guy, save the girl. If you're the girl, be the sassy/spunky sidekick and after the initial clash you'll get the guy. If you're the funny one, you're most likely the sidekick that everyone loves. If you're brooding then you're the mysterious guy that all the girls love. As a side effect you'll get great hair, seriously even if you're a guy you get amazing hair. Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C. 

   All of these things are lies. Trust me, old men are usually grumpy and not members of a secret society of warriors. Old women usually love cats and want to tell you about all their grandchildren and stepmothers are no different than biological mothers. Yeah, good luck with finding the force, getting your letter from Hogwarts, or finding out that you're a bender and there are no blatant, easily identifiable sources of evil. (No Wal-Mart is not a source of evil that you can attack with lightsabers and blasters) In real life if you're the guy you're one of the extras that gets maybe three seconds of face time (with a terrified facial expression I might add). In real life if you're the girl, all you have to be is prettier than the the girl that the guy used to like, no personality, intelligence, or amicability necessary. (Or facial expression) If you're the the funny one, ok you're still the sidekick that everybody loves that's just a fact of nature. If you're brooding you're emo and everyone avoids you like the unhygienic plague. And unless you're an actress or a singer or a genetic jackpot, you're the average shmuck that along with 98% of the population is on the average to ugly in the hair category. Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, Bonus. 

   In summary you're are most likely an average Joe with normal friends, no special powers, who avoids old people, and is constantly hoping for the good life that everyone seems to have but no one really does and finally, you have boring hair. And that folks is the way the cookie crumbles. No force, no owl-delivered-letter, no ring-of-power, no mad-man-in-a-blue-box. One thing we do have going for us. We have Tacos.

Ad Absurdum: to the absurd

Preface: I'm really tired right now so anything I say I should not be allowed to use to sue me in the future.

Define Normal

Weird is the New Normal

   Has anyone else noticed that it's cool to be weird? I mean recently everywhere I go everyone that does anything different just gives the excuse, "I'm weird!" What do people actually mean when they say that? Are they using it as cop out for doing whatever they want even if it goes against society norms? Is it because they actually are weird?

   Well honestly you need to define weird. Urban Dictionary defines it as out of the ordinary but in a good way. I think that is how most people use it when talking about themselves but when you're talking about anybody else it's an insult implying craziness and in general unpardonable creepiness. That's the funny thing about the english language, it morphs and modefies itself to your own personal and private use.
   When I say I'm weird I'm being honest in the best way I know how. I don't understand myself 73% of the time so I don't expect anyone else to understand me more than half the time either. I act in ways that shouldn't make sense, but usually at the time they do. Then again randomly I do things just because once every 28 days or so, like I said. Weird. I can't defend my actions to most other people unless they know me and then my defense becomes, "Hey it's me." Which to a rational human being is no reason at all but it's a requirement to be my friend that you are irrational, like pi. For me being weird is honestly being myself. I act in ways that don't make sense and I do that because acting in ways that do make sense is what everyone else does. I've kind of lived my life sense I was thirteen years old by the philosophy of Anything but Ordinary. I don't want to live an average life. It's boring beyond all reason, I can handle a lot, just not boring. I'll take pain over numb any day of the week.
   To often normal, popular, boring people use weird as an excuse to be crazy or just a straight up jerk. "Oh my gosh, Jared is retarded. Let's key his car! It would be so weird!" "OMG I love weird! Let's do it." I'm not saying being spontaneous and random is a bad thing. Spontaneous is almost my life motto but call it what it is. If you want to do something out of the ordinary, do it. Go jump out of a perfectly good airplane and call it skydiving. Floor it on the interstate to see if your car can really go 120 and call it research. Tell that guy you have a crush on that you like it and call it taking a risk. Just don't go teepee your professors house and call it being weird.
   Weird. Fun word, different word, ever changing word. I'd say weird is a word for all persuasions, evasions, and occasions just use it right and for the love of all that's holy my fellow Weirdies, expand your vocabulary.

Ad Captandum Vulgus: in order to capture the crowd

Life in Movies

Facts in Fiction

   I've been noticing a lot recently how movies we watch have these tiny, or sometimes not so small, nuggets of straight up unadulterated truth. Recently I watched He's Just Not that into You and the character Gigi played by one of my favorite actresses Ginnifer Goodwin gives an amazing speech about Rules and Exceptions and it's not just about relationships. So often we go through life thinking that we are living the stories that we've read and watched so many times. In reality, we live in reality. There's a reason those stories are made into books, movies, and TV shows they're the exception to the rule that is real life. 

   Movies have been given a bad rap about basically presenting a screwed reality but honestly would you really want to watch more of what you live through? When you see a movie and there is no exception, when there is no justice, no final peace, no happy ending you leave feeling disappointed and somewhat depressed. Sure maybe it's based on a true story, but I live true stories every single day. Most of them suck, the ones I would pay to see should be the exception stories acted out by Josh Hutcherson and Stana Katic. I have no desire to see my life on the silver-screen just with better looking people in the leading roles. Can you imagine having your life lived out on the big screen by Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lawrence? In someway's I'm pretty sure it would make it even more depressing. Picture it, beautiful people living through your stomping grounds with dramatic background music. In my mind it would be days of our lives meets big bang theory with all the characters watching One Tree Hill with multiple commercial breaks of General Hospital. 

   Another set of truths that you can usually draw from are the underlying themes of Joss Whedon's work. From Buffy the Vampire Slayer to the Avengers his complex characters and universal realities just comunicate on such a different level than most movies. I love his work and more than often because of the real world that his characters live in and yet how they still overcome and make there worlds into those of legend because of their actions not their circumstances. 

   In short I like that moment rush of the "Holy Crap, So True!" when something you kind of understand is cemented in a movie quote that just sums it up perfectly. It just kind of makes you want to post that quote on Facebook, Twitter #awesome, make a 'Pin' of it, and find the clip on youtube and favorite it commenting like every other lonely teenaged girl, "Love this part! So true!"